Lindsay Clancy’s Journal Revealed Deep Struggles Before the Deaths of Her Children, Court Hears

Jurors in Lindsay Clancy’s murder trial heard emotional testimony Monday about private journal entries in which the Massachusetts mother described feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and desperate for relief from the pressures of caring for her family.

According to excerpts presented in court, Clancy wrote that she was struggling with severe anxiety, insomnia and feelings of guilt in the months before she killed her three young children. The entries were used during testimony to provide insight into her mental state before the tragic events of January 2023.

One journal entry, written on November 18, 2022 — approximately two months before the deaths — described the level of emotional distress Clancy said she was experiencing.

“It’s like I’m so desperate to get a mental break from taking care of everyone that my mind is trying to make something physically wrong with me,” she wrote.

In another passage, Clancy expressed a desire for help, writing: “I want help. I want to be well.”

The journal entries covered a period from October 2022 through January 2023 and were presented to jurors during testimony from Massachusetts State Police Trooper Cory Melo. Melo was involved in collecting evidence from Clancy’s home in Duxbury, Massachusetts, including personal journals and other materials.

Clancy, a former labor and delivery nurse, is accused of killing her children — five-year-old Cora, three-year-old Dawson and eight-month-old Callan — on January 24, 2023. Afterward, prosecutors say she attempted to take her own life by injuring herself and jumping from a second-story window.

Her defense team has argued that Clancy was suffering from postpartum psychosis, a serious mental health condition that can develop after childbirth. Her attorneys say she experienced a psychiatric crisis, did not fully understand her actions and should be found not guilty because of a lack of criminal responsibility.

Journal Entries Detail Anxiety and Guilt

The court heard that Clancy documented ongoing struggles following the birth of her youngest child, Callan.

Her writings described intense anxiety surrounding parenting, particularly concerns related to sleep training her infant son. She reportedly wrote about feeling devastated while listening to him cry during sleep training and struggling emotionally with the process.

Clancy also recorded feelings of guilt connected to her decision to stop breastfeeding and transition her baby to formula. According to testimony, she worried that she had failed her child and felt emotionally overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood.

The defense has highlighted these writings as evidence that Clancy was experiencing serious psychological difficulties and was actively trying to seek help before the tragedy.

Prosecutors, however, have argued that the evidence must also be viewed in the context of her actions and decisions before and after the killings. They are attempting to show that Clancy was aware of what she was doing and should be held legally responsible.

Psychiatrists Testify About Clancy’s Mental State

Earlier during Monday’s proceedings, jurors heard testimony from psychiatrists who evaluated Clancy while she was hospitalized at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston following her suicide attempt.

One of those witnesses was forensic psychiatrist Dr. Jhilam Biswas, who met with Clancy on January 26, 2023, while she was sedated and using a breathing tube after the incident.

Because Clancy was unable to speak, she communicated through writing. When Biswas asked about her emotional state, Clancy wrote one word: “Horrified.”

She also wrote questions expressing concern about her physical condition, including whether her body was damaged and whether her legs were positioned correctly.

During questioning, prosecutor Jennifer Sprague focused on the fact that Biswas did not document signs of psychosis during the brief evaluation.

Sprague asked Biswas about common symptoms of psychosis and whether she observed any indications that Clancy was experiencing such symptoms at the time.

Biswas explained that psychosis can vary greatly between individuals. Some people may experience continuous symptoms, while others may have periods of clarity.

During cross-examination, defense attorney Kevin Reddington emphasized that Biswas only met with Clancy once for approximately 20 to 30 minutes.

He questioned whether someone experiencing psychosis could appear calm, communicate clearly or behave normally.

Biswas responded that this was possible, explaining that some people experiencing psychosis may still have moments where they appear organized or able to communicate effectively.

Another Psychiatrist Describes Hospital Behavior

Jurors also heard testimony from Dr. Sejal Shah, another psychiatrist who evaluated Clancy multiple times during her month-long hospital stay.

Shah testified that Clancy was cooperative, engaged with medical staff and did not report suicidal or homicidal thoughts during their interactions.

She also said Clancy appeared to be looking forward to moving to a rehabilitation facility as she continued recovering from her injuries.

Reddington questioned Shah about whether a person could still experience postpartum psychosis while appearing outwardly normal.

The psychiatrist agreed that someone experiencing psychosis could still communicate, make plans and carry out actions.

She explained that psychosis does not always involve obvious symptoms such as confusion, inability to communicate or visible disorientation.

Shah also testified that Clancy requested changes regarding her healthcare decisions after the incident, including changing her healthcare proxy from her husband, Patrick Clancy, to her parents.

She also requested a do-not-resuscitate order, though doctors did not allow that decision at the time because she had recently attempted suicide and was still undergoing evaluation.

Doctors Recall Efforts to Save Baby Callan

The jury also heard emotional testimony from doctors who treated Clancy’s youngest child, Callan.

Doctors described the attempts made to save the eight-month-old after he was found unresponsive.

Dr. David Casavant, an intensive care physician at Boston Children’s Hospital, testified that Callan regained a heartbeat but was unable to breathe independently and suffered severe brain damage.

After additional testing and discussions with medical specialists and Callan’s family, doctors determined that continuing life support would not change his condition.

The decision was made to remove him from the ventilator several days after the incident.

During the testimony, Clancy appeared emotional and was seen wiping tears from her eyes.

Trial Continues With Focus on Mental Health

The first week of the trial included highly emotional testimony, including the playing of Patrick Clancy’s 911 call after he returned home and discovered his children unresponsive.

Jurors were also shown evidence collected from the home, including the clothing the children were wearing and items prosecutors say were connected to their deaths.

Throughout the proceedings, Clancy has appeared in court using a wheelchair due to injuries she suffered during her suicide attempt.

The central question in the trial remains whether Lindsay Clancy was legally responsible for her actions or whether a severe mental health condition prevented her from understanding what she was doing.

Prosecutors argue that she acted intentionally and should be convicted of murder.

The defense maintains that she was suffering from postpartum psychosis and that her actions occurred during a devastating psychiatric episode.

As testimony continues, jurors are expected to hear more from medical experts, investigators and witnesses as both sides attempt to explain the events leading up to one of Massachusetts’ most closely watched criminal cases.