What would you do if the person you once trusted most suddenly confessed to being a serial killer? That horrifying reality is what Asa Ellerup has faced since her ex-husband, Rex Heuermann, admitted to murdering multiple women in the notorious Gilgo Beach killings that haunted Long Island for years.

Now, shocking revelations from the Peacock documentary The Gilgo Beach Killer: House of Secrets are offering an unsettling glimpse into Asa’s life after learning the father of her daughter had allegedly been living a double life as a sadistic murderer.

The documentary — and a recent discussion featured on the true crime series Criminally Obsessed — dives into the psychological aftermath of Heuermann’s confession, exploring not only the crimes themselves but the emotional and mental toll on the people closest to him.

One of the most disturbing revelations involves Asa’s decision to continue living inside the same Massapequa Park home where investigators say several murders took place. Even more shocking, she revealed that she now sleeps in the basement room allegedly used by Heuermann to torture, kill and dismember victims.

According to Asa, the decision was not made out of denial or indifference. Instead, she described it as something spiritual — a way to acknowledge the suffering that occurred there and express remorse for the victims.

“I am trying to say, spiritually in my own way, that I am really sorry for what these victims went through,” she said in the documentary.

Still, the revelation has left many viewers stunned and searching for answers. Why would someone choose to remain in a place associated with unimaginable violence? Why continue living in the home at all? And what happens psychologically when someone discovers that the person they loved may have been capable of monstrous acts for decades?

Those questions became the focus of a discussion with forensic psychologist Dr. John Delatorre on Criminally Obsessed, where the expert attempted to unpack the complex emotional reality Asa may be experiencing.

Dr. Delatorre explained that people who spend years in close relationships with manipulative or controlling individuals often develop psychological survival mechanisms that can make reality difficult to process, even after overwhelming evidence emerges.

According to the psychologist, long-term emotional influence and coercive dynamics can reshape how a person interprets behavior, memories and warning signs.

“When someone spends years with an individual who compartmentalizes their life so completely, it creates a fractured perception of reality,” Delatorre explained during the discussion. “Your brain struggles to reconcile the loving partner you knew with the horrific acts you’re now hearing about.”

That psychological conflict may help explain why Asa initially refused to believe Heuermann could be responsible for the killings, even after his arrest in 2023.

For years, Heuermann was publicly described as an ordinary suburban husband and father who worked as an architect in Manhattan. Friends and neighbors often portrayed him as awkward but otherwise unremarkable.

Behind closed doors, however, investigators allege he was meticulously planning murders, using burner phones, studying law enforcement tactics and targeting vulnerable women over nearly two decades.

The contrast between those two realities is part of what has made the case so psychologically disturbing to the public.

In the documentary, Asa described confronting Heuermann after he confessed to killing multiple women. She recalled him appearing nervous during the conversation before admitting responsibility for eight murders.

She also claimed he told her that most of the women were killed inside their family home while she and the children were away traveling.

According to prosecutors, Heuermann’s wife and children were frequently out of state during the time periods connected to several of the murders. Authorities have repeatedly stated there is no evidence Asa or the children had any involvement in the crimes.

Still, public fascination with Asa’s response has intensified as more details emerge.

Some viewers have questioned whether her decision to stay in the home and sleep in the basement reflects unresolved trauma, denial or something deeper. Others argue her behavior demonstrates the profound psychological damage caused by discovering that someone you trusted lived a hidden life built on violence and deception.

Dr. Delatorre suggested the answer may involve multiple overlapping emotional responses.

“Trauma doesn’t always look rational from the outside,” he explained. “For some people, remaining in the environment connected to trauma can feel like a form of control or confrontation. Leaving may feel like surrendering completely to the horror.”

He also noted that grief and guilt can manifest in unusual ways, particularly when survivors feel connected — even indirectly — to crimes they never knew were happening.

Asa has repeatedly emphasized that she had no knowledge of the murders. Yet she has also publicly expressed sorrow for the victims and their families, saying she is haunted nightly by what occurred in the home.

“Every night when I go to sleep, I am haunted by dreams,” she said in the documentary. “It will never go away.”

The emotional fallout extends beyond Asa herself. Their daughter, Victoria Heuermann, also appeared in the documentary and described the painful process of reconciling the father she loved with the crimes he confessed to committing.

Victoria recalled meeting with her father after his arrest and trying to understand why he killed. According to her account, Heuermann allegedly told her that his “demons” took over and described the urges as a sickness.

The documentary also revealed disturbing details about Heuermann’s alleged murder routine. Therapist Alison Winter claimed Heuermann developed a highly organized four-day killing process that included preparing a “kill room,” murdering victims, dismembering bodies and disposing of evidence.

Winter described him as methodical, obsessive and increasingly confident in his ability to avoid detection.

The revelations shocked even seasoned true crime followers because of the cold precision allegedly involved in the murders.

Experts say cases like this often leave surviving family members trapped in emotional limbo. They are forced to grieve not only the crimes themselves but also the loss of the person they thought they knew.

Dr. Delatorre explained that the psychological collapse following such revelations can resemble mourning a death.

“The identity of the person they loved no longer exists,” he said. “Everything becomes contaminated by the knowledge of what that person secretly was.”

He added that family members in these situations often replay years of memories searching for missed warning signs, creating overwhelming guilt and self-doubt.

That process can become even more difficult when the case unfolds publicly under intense media scrutiny.

Since Heuermann’s arrest, the Gilgo Beach investigation has generated international attention. The gruesome details, combined with the suburban family setting, have fueled ongoing fascination with the case.

Earlier this year, Heuermann pleaded guilty to murdering seven women and admitted responsibility for the death of an eighth victim as part of a plea agreement. Prosecutors said he strangled several victims and dismembered some of their bodies before dumping remains near Gilgo Beach on Long Island.

The killings spanned from the early 1990s through 2010.

Authorities described Heuermann as a calculating predator who lived a secret life hidden beneath the appearance of normalcy.

For Asa and her daughter, however, the public horror is deeply personal.

The documentary portrays two women still struggling to understand how decades of family life existed alongside unimaginable violence.

While some viewers remain critical of Asa’s choices, mental health experts caution against oversimplifying trauma responses in extraordinary situations.

“There’s a tendency to ask, ‘How could she not know?’” Delatorre explained. “But highly manipulative offenders often spend years carefully constructing a false identity. The deception is intentional.”

He added that surviving family members frequently become secondary victims — people whose lives are destroyed by crimes they neither committed nor understood.

As more interviews and documentaries continue exploring the Gilgo Beach murders, the psychological dimension of the case remains one of its most unsettling aspects.

For many observers, the central mystery is no longer only how Rex Heuermann allegedly carried out the killings for so many years without detection. It is also how someone can build a family life while concealing unimaginable darkness — and what happens to the people left behind once that darkness is finally exposed.